I now have the opportunity to experience my own art on the
scale on which I experience others'. Five of my photographs now hang framed on
the walls of my apartment, next to photographs by friends, commercial art, and
maps of various parts of the world. At art galleries and museums I see photos
blown up and matted, mounted on the wall.
My images are now in that context. The decision to do this
was very personal: I want to be reminded of my visual artistry every time I
walk into my living room and my bedroom. I want to remember that I am a
photographer and to see some of my own best work hanging with what I consider
to be that of others. It puts me in context, reminds me of my place, and, in
the end, makes me smile.
I had a hard time choosing which of my thousands of images
to blow up and put on my wall, for me to see, and for my visitors to look at. I
wanted to choose something people would admire, but of which I was also very
proud. I wanted to show off what I consider to be my best work. They will not
be my best-selling images, nor my most universally accessible. They will,
however, be my first favorites.
My own reaction has been the most interesting. Others have
made the appropriate comments: "Oh. I like it," "It's
so...orange,” and so on. I, on the other hand, see something new in each image
each time I look at it. I remember something more about the rest of the scene,
outside the photograph, or something someone said to me just before or after I
made the picture. More often than not, I remember what I felt when I made the
photograph.
I explore, each time I see a photograph, the feeling the
artist had when she made the image. I try to feel what she felt, to figure out
what she left out of the image, to figure out why there is a dark spot in the
lower right corner. I have always done this, with photographs, paintings,
lithographs, and so on. I have never before been able to study my own work.
I find, happily, that I can learn more from myself than I
thought I could, I also have found a lot of room for improvement. variation,
and learning. I can pay close attention to details I would have missed in a
slide show.
This self-examination and evaluation of my own work is art
excellent barometer of my mindset and ability at the moment. It permits me to
understand more concretely where I am and what I am doing with myself. The art
serves the artist, even as I create it.
It gives me hope that visual communication can still have
this effect on me and on others; in an increasingly visual age expressive
images are in high demand. Expression of feelings, ideas, and thoughts are at
least as important as expression of facts, figures, and non-fiction. The world,
shrinking and even closing in a bit, is becoming more surreal, more abstract. Art
of all media are expressing this feeling.
The exploration of the artist's mind and heart have been the
topic of much discussion and debate for centuries. Entering that dialogue is
important and energizing. It affirms the relationship between the self and the
surroundings, and enforces respect between the two. Not without risk, it
invites not only praise but criticism and misinterpretation. That is part of
the bargain: the art is left to speak for itself. Its effect is never
predictable, and the artist will never react the same way to her own art as she
does to others', or as others do to hers.
Perceptions of the world are dangerous: they reveal
ourselves below the surface. Images created by artists, like words spilled by
writers onto the page, give away sometimes more than they reclaim.
The relationship between an artist and the public is never
clearly defined. I invite you to visit my walls and see for yourself, and to
share with me your thoughts on the world I see.